How Shaving My Head Helped Me Stop Caring What Other People Think
I know what you’re thinking. What the hell does shaving your head have anything to do with minimalism?! Hear me out.
I really loved the new blonde color and was excited to see it hang beyond my shoulders, when stretched, after previously cutting it off in 2014. But lately, I started to hide behind my afro and it was so much apart of my identity to where I was deeply attached to my hair. Almost to the point where, I could not leave the house without it looking “right”, whatever that meant. I’d always change it to find new styles or colors with wigs to make me feel more beautiful. Until I realized, my definition and how I saw beauty were misaligned.
A few months ago, I decided I wanted to cut it off. I saved screenshots of over 100+ pixie cuts and took the plunge to shave it October 28th. It was the BEST decision I have made in a while. I have never felt more confident, beautiful, exposed (in a GOOD way), and that I’m seen for me and not solely as the girl with the “big hair.”
BUT…people kept asking, “Why do you want to do it. You’ve come so far!! Your hair is already pretty please don’t shave it!!!” told me to wait. Their opinions planted negative weeds in my mind and I started to think that, “They know best. I need to keep my hair. I’d need to lose more weight first. Maybe I don’t have the face. Well, you definitely won’t get a better job now.”
If you lost the very thing you were trying to hold onto, would you still love yourself?
When we place our self-worth in superficial and materialistic stuff, we lose sight of our values that keep us grounded. Beauty is subjective and is temporary, plus we might no longer be society’s standard in the next 5 years or 5 minutes. But when we cherish exactly who we are, right now, we become FREE from the attachment of people bondage and leap into the arms of self-love and acceptance.
Now, I’m NOT telling you to shave your head. In fact, I’m telling you the opposite because we still have to DO THE WORK. The work means embarking on a radically transparent journey of accepting yourself with love and compassion. It means confronting the ugly parts of you and holding yourself accountable to change them. This means that shaving my head is not a pass to stop journaling, going to therapy, eating healthy, exercising 3-5x a week, surrendering my life to God, changing bad habits, loving my enemies, or enjoying the people in my life. This also isn’t a pass for me to hold onto stuff because I let one (big) thing go.
How This Impacted My View On Minimalism
Getting rid of stuff is easy. Identifying your values and committing to execute them is the hard part. I say this all the time but minimalism is a LIFE-LONG journey and NOT a weekend project. We must understand the importance of clarity, commitment, and patience (coming from a super impatient gal). Have grace for yourself in leu of learning curves, set-backs, and the slow climb to your goals.
Minimalism is WEIRD and DIFFERENT from societal norms telling you to constantly chase after STUFF. The beauty of minimalism is that you decide what letting go looks like in your life. There are no “rules.”
If you have something that is holding you back or keeping you from aligning with your values, get rid of it today.